Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
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Have you ever had a bittersweet clementine? That’s how I’d describe this movie and the roller coaster of emotions it takes you on. Every relationship has its ups and downs, some were meant to last, while others were destined to fail. This movie made me think of all of my relationships and every part of them, good and bad.
Joel and Clementine have a whirlwind romance, but then drift apart and become estranged. Clementine decides to move on in the most extreme way: she erases her memories of him, and when Joel finds out, he decides to do the same. Much of the movie takes place in his subconscious, going through his memories of her as they are deleted, during which he regrets his decision and tries to stop the process.
Oftentimes, when there is a fracture or fight in a relationship, friendship, or with family, I have an urge to lash out or do something drastic. While my better judgment usually keeps things in check, I have felt the same urge Joel and Clementine felt to delete and purge parts of my life. The tragedy of the movie is realizing the consequence of such urges when taken to the absolute extreme. Watching Joel’s memory of meeting Clementine on the beach get deleted was truly heartbreaking.
Some decisions are final and irreversible, and even the strongest regrets cannot undo them. Some breakups are painful because they started as something beautiful. It’s a cliche to say “the journey is more important than the destination,” but it’s a cliche for a reason.
When I first watched this movie, it really made me rethink relationships as more than a path to the next step (marriage, kids, etc traditionally), but as something beautiful to experience regardless of where it goes. While it can be hard to remember while a breakup is fresh, the movie reminds us that there can be something beautiful even in “failed” relationships. The movie ends with Joel and Clementine meeting again despite their deleted memories. I like to think every relationship leaves an imprint on us, like an echo or a palimpsest, that we carry with us even when the memories fade and become less distinct.