Up
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I remember when I first watched Up, I was amazed - I had never seen a movie portray intergenerational friendship before. And around then, I didn’t even know if it was possible for me. Why would an older person want to be friends with me?
Around the time of the movie coming out, I always had a kind of ‘fearful’ experience with older adults - they’re old, mean, kinda gross, and are about to scold me. They always seemed a bit grumpy and distant to me.
But then, in my early twenties, I took a road trip around the US in a bit of a soul-searching journey to explore myself and what it meant to be ‘me.’ Given that I was free during the days and doing lots of couchsurfing, I often found myself hanging out with older adults who were empty-nesters, widows/widowers, seeking connection of their own.
Initially, I was scared of the older adults. Would they like me? Would they be mean to me? But I was surprised. I met N, a older adult in Lincoln Nebraska who lost her son to the AIDS epidemic, and spent most of her time fighting for gay rights in her state. M, who couldn’t stop smoking in her house, said it was ‘fine because she was old enough to not care’ - and how she learned to grow and flourish after her husband’s death.
And my closest friend, B, who was building a company to help older adults record their stories about their lives and pass it onto their family. I still remember our most touching moment, in a Thai restaurant, when I asked him if he’d be willing to record his own story on my phone. We were both in tears when he talked about the ups and downs of his life - the birth of his child, his separation with his ex-wife, and his optimism about the universe.
I realized the complexity of people in general. Older adults aren’t all just grumpy and mean. I think the moments of the movie that were most beautiful for me were the ones where you see Carl’s humanity peeking through his hardened exterior. Something about that combination really gets me - seeing that even the people you might least think to be loving and gentle actually have a soft inner core, just like me.
Thank you Up, for highlighting the power of these friendships and humanizing all people, regardless of how grumpy they may look (even as grumpy as Carl).
